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Transcripts
I
get a
lot of email from my nationally syndicated column called ask Mr.. dad and
surprisingly even though I’m kind of a dad guy a lot of the email is written
by moms and this is one of the most common themes I get and it’s really
nice, the topic of it isn’t so nice but it’s nice that the moms are actually
paying so much attention and writing in a way to try to help their husband.
Dear
Mr. Dad: my husband and I have a 4 year old son and a 24 month old
daughter. I’m a stay at home mom but my husband is a very involved father.
The problem is that both kids have been in a long stretch of mommy do it.
It’s terrible to see how my husband’s face falls as night after night the
kids scream mommy mommy as he tries to put them to bed or read them a
story. Is there anything I can do to help the kids get past this stage?
The
dynamics that you are describing is very very common and very very painful
to the non preferred parent. In this kind of situation your husband may be
tempted to just back off as a way of avoiding the hurt but don’t let him.
Try to arrange as many activities as you possible can that include your
husband but also the ones that require his participation. Whenever he’s not
around talk about him to your kids.
Tell
them how much you miss daddy and how much you are looking forward to having
him come home. If the kids have a problem during the day say for example
something breaks tell them that daddy knows how to fix it and that he will
as soon as he gets home. The object here is to build your husband up and to
get your kids to look forward to seeing him.
The
role of the preferred parent usually switches back and forth as children get
older which means that you as the mom are eventually going to have to deal
with a lot of daddy do it in the not to distant future. So you might just
want to hang onto this podcast and keep it someplace nearby so that you can
listen to it again or so that you can have your husband listen to it because
he’s going to have to do the exact same thing you are doing now – help build
you up to the kids when it’s time for daddy do it times.
If
you’ve got a comment or question that you would like to get the dad’s
perspective about you can drop me a line through the Baby Talk Radio website
or you can visit my website at
http://www.mrdad.com. You can send email from there and you can find
out about the various books I’ve written starting with The Expectant Father
going onto the first year and the toddler years. I’ve got a podcast for
dads, a daily podcast called the daddy cast and a brand new DVD that’s
called Toolbox for New Dads. You can also subscribe to my monthly
newsletter The Mr. Dad newsletter. You can do all that at
http://www.mrdad.com
