To Cry It Out or Not?

Hi this is Stacy Mahoe and last time in my segment I gave a little word of encouragement for stay at home parents.  Along those same lines here is another segment that I will offer a little bit of support and encouragement to other parents out there - parents that they are facing the dilemma of to allow their baby to cry it out. 

For those of you who are unfamiliar with crying it out it often refers to a method of getting your baby to sleep. Basically instead of picking them up and comforting them when they cry you allow them to cry it out so that they learn to soothe themselves and put themselves to sleep without your help.  There are families out there who have used this method and allowed the children to cry it out and have had good success with it.  If that’s what worked for them then that is great but every child is different, every baby and family is different and what works for some families won’t work for others. 

So if crying it out is something that doesn’t work for you it’s ok.  I know I heard a lot that I was going to spoil my baby or that I should let her cry and I didn’t like that and you probably don’t either and if that’s not what you want to do go ahead and pick up your baby and comfort them.  Here are a few things to remember:  if your baby is a newborn crying is their only method of communication.  Don’t forget that most times baby was in moms womb for a full nine months and while in there they have everything they need but after delivery when they are in the world there is bright lights and loud noises, they feel cold, they feel pain and hunger for the first time and the only way for them to communicate any type of discomfort is to cry. 

So can you imagine if that was your only way to communicate when you were in need of food or comfort and no one responded, how would that make you feel?  Do you think you would feel confident or secure and happy?  To me it makes a little bit more sense that if parents do respond to baby, baby learns that the method of communication is effective and that the parents will be there to meet their needs and to comfort them or tell them that everything will be ok if that’s what they need.  I think that will develop a more secure and confident happy baby. 

I know when my oldest daughter was born and she was an infant I faced the same dilemma of whether I should let her cry or if I shouldn’t hold her as much because people told me that I carried her to much and that she was going to get spoiled and that I should just put her down and let her cry sometimes.  I felt bad when people told me because they had had kids of their own and I felt maybe they were more experienced and they knew what they were talking about and maybe I wasn’t being a good mom carrying her so much.

It made me feel bad because I thought all I want to do is what’s best for my daughter and it sounded like maybe I wasn’t doing that but I was also torn because the other option was to listen to them and let her cry and that made me feel just as bad if not even worse.  After awhile I decided to just follow my heart and do what I wanted to do which was to carry my baby and comfort her whenever she needed me. 

Now that I have four kids I’ve carried all four of them to my hearts content and I can say that I don’t think there was anything wrong with that decision at all.  That’s what worked for me, that’s what worked for my children and I see no ill effects from making that choice.  So if that’s what works for you to don’t feel bad about it, don’t feel bad about picking your baby up and carrying them all the time, go ahead and comfort your baby. 

In fact you should know that some of us out here like holding our baby so much that we decided to wear our babies.  Next time I’ll talk a little bit more about baby wearing, what it is, why I like it and what some of the benefits are.  Until then take care and keep listening to Baby Talk Radio.