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Hey Baby Talk Radio listeners
this is Renee Canham. Today I’m here to talk to you a little bit about
helping your older kids get ready for a new baby while still feeling
attached to you. My first suggestion is that you tell them about your
pregnancy right away so that way they have the opportunity to start getting
connected with your new baby right away.
Keep them involved in your care.
Take them with you to your OB visits or your midwife visits. Let them be
there for your ultrasound or for any test that is appropriate for them to be
there for. An inexpensive fetal scope, they have some that you can just buy
at most stores, they can wear headphones and listen to the baby.
You can hear the baby’s heartbeat
when you are farther along in your pregnancy. Let kids know what is going
on in your belly. Even really young kids really want to get connected with
you and the new baby and they understand a lot more than we think they do
sometimes. I recommend a book by Sheila Kitzinger; she is an amazing author
and midwife. It’s called The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth.
To help your kids get attached to
the new baby it has all sorts of pictures of babies developing or hand drawn
ones, art ones. They have pictures of women in labor and birth that might
help your kids start to feel a little bit more comfortable with that. They
also have pictures of baby’s development at each stage of your pregnancy.
My kids love to look at those
pictures. Every night they want to see how big our baby is, where our baby
is growing. There is another book I would recommend too it’s called It’s
so Amazing by Robie H. Harris and it talks about where babies come from
and all that kind of information. I think it’s appropriate to read to kids
of all ages.
There may be stuff that you don’t
feel comfortable telling your kids yet that you can edit out but there are
parts of that book that are completely appropriate that helps explain to
them what’s going on and helps them feel really connected. Another thing I
would suggest is to not make any major changes before the new baby is born
for your kids.
Like don’t try to start potty
training two or three months before the baby is born. It might sound like a
great idea because then you wouldn’t have the other baby in diapers but it
puts a lot of pressure on that older kid. When the baby comes they may want
to feel like a baby a little bit and if they have already started in the
potty training process they may revert back to wanting to wear diapers.
Also don’t change their beds –
move them into a bigger bed or kick them out of your bed shortly before baby
comes and don’t stop breastfeeding just right before baby comes because that
will change the connection with them and the baby. They will feel like you
are choosing the baby over them and you definitely don’t want that.
You want them to stay connected.
It will help you also when you are trying to stay connected with your older
kids and you have the new baby. The new baby does take so much time. I
have a suggestion that was really great for us and it’s a suggestion that
every family has to choose for their own but I suggest having the older kids
at your baby’s birth whether you have a hospital birth or home birth.
If you feel like your kids are
ready have them at the birth. We had our kids at each of our births and we
had a person there that was specifically there for our child and our older
child could be there as much as they wanted. They could be interacting with
me if they were interested or not. They saw exactly where their brother or
sister came from.
It really helped them be
connected and they were also one of the first people to hold their brother
or sister and that helped them. Also hang out with your kids. Take
individual time with them if you have more than one. Let them know that
they are important. Still wear them in a sling while you are pregnant as
long as you are comfortable.
Still do all those things that
you love to do with your kids so they feel really special and stay connected
even when the new baby is on its way. If you would like more information
abut me, check out my bio at Baby Talk Radio (http://www.babytalkradio.com)
or check me out at
http://www.monkeybums.com. I will talk to you soon. Thanks bye.
