Hi
baby talk radio listeners this is Iris Waichler author of Riding the
Infertility Roller Coaster: A Guide to Educate and Inspire. Today I
wanted to talk about making the decision to stop infertility treatment.
When we begin our infertility journey we are hopeful and perhaps anxious
about he chances we have to get pregnant and have a healthy baby.
We are
not always certain about what to expect and we may not have a real sense
about how it will impact us financially, physically and emotionally on a day
to day basis. It can wreak havoc with your job and your relationships with
family and friends. I’ve met a lot of people who’ve spent over seven years
and mortgaged their home in their quest to conceive a child.
It’s a
very difficult and painful decision to even begin to consider choosing to
stop infertility treatment as a possibility. But it is a choice and an
option available to us. Giving up that biological link is really going to
drain and it’s never an easy decision. There are numerous options in the
world of infertility treatment.
You
may be a candidate for some treatments and not others depending on your
individual medical situation and personal circumstances. When you discover
you are having multiple treatments please consider meeting with your doctor
to have an open frank discussion. Ask your doctor why he or she believes
that your treatment has not been successful to this point? What are your
doctors recommendations for additional treatment and what are the success
rates of live births with this treatment for people your age.
Ask
yourself if adoption is an option for you and even fertility treatment does
not necessarily mean that your dream of having a child in your life is
over. Surrogacy may also be an option for you. This is when another woman
carries the child. This child may have a biological link to you and or your
partner or may be conceived from a donor sperm and donor egg. Resolve the
national infertility organization has information and workshops on
surrogacy. Please make informed choices slowly, step by step.
Meet
with your doctor and support staff and allow yourself the time you need to
make your decision. IF possible talk with other people that have chosen
these options to get additional information and insight. Talk openly with
your partner with this important decision and try to achieve a mutual
agreement and understanding. You may need to take some time off after
you’ve ended your infertility treatment to allow yourself to grieve this
loss and step away and stop thinking about it for awhile.
Patricia Johnson who is an expert on infertility and wrote Taking Charge
of Infertility outlines some clues to recognize if it’s time to end
treatment. One thing is when you become more pessimistic than optimistic
about treatment regimes. Another question to raise with yourself is whether
your resources such as time, money, physical and emotional abilities are
running low and impacting relationships with your partner.
When
your ability to function at work and with friends and family is negatively
impacted. And finally when resources like time, money and your physical and
emotional functioning only begin to have a negative effect on your ability
to become a parent that’s when you really need to think about it. Whatever
choice you make give yourself time to come to it and accept it and come to
peace with it. And I wish you luck on your infertility journey. Thanks
very much.
