Hi Baby Talk Radio
listeners this is Iris Waichler author of Riding the Infertility
Rollercoaster: A Guide to Educate and Inspire. I wanted to speak
today about adoption. This is the second part of my adoption series
and today I want to focus specifically on International and Domestic
adoptions. Both types of adoption require a home study program.
Reliable agencies will
have you take parenting programs and will closely evaluate you as
perspective parents. This is to protect you as well as the
potential adopted child. Both International and Domestic adoptions
require a waiting period.
Domestic and
International find out specifically what the medical and background
information is available on the child that you are thinking about
adopting and if you can go back more than one generation to get that
history. It’s useful to know about medical problems in previous
generations. Also some medical or physiological illnesses can skip
a generation.
If possible try to get
any drug or alcohol history on the biological parents. Also
domestic fingerprinting and extensive interviews are often done and
usually done with Domestic adoptions. Keep in mind if you are doing
an International adoption it can be much more challenging to get
this kind of information.
In terms of International
adoptions there is new medical specialties called adoption medicine
which is just terrific and it’s for people choosing International
adoption. These doctors are available to review medical records pre
adoption for kids from other countries. They are very well educated
about the specific medical problems for a specific kid coming from
certain countries, for example, vitamin deficiencies in people for
example coming from China.
The great thing about
these doctors is that you develop a relationship with them and they
are there to do post adoption examinations. As I mentioned earlier,
getting complete medical information with International adoption is
more challenging so make sure that before you adopt a child from
another country that they have a thorough medical exam from a
reliable medical source.
Questions to ask on
International adoptions include: What are the travel costs, where
will you stay, do you need to set up your accommodations or do they
help with that and how long will you need to stay? Also some
programs say you can bring children along and others prefer that you
don’t so find out about that.
You also need to know
about how much advance notice you will get about the adoption
because you need time to prepare. You may need to make arrangements
at work or you may need to make your own child care arrangements
here. Also find out about any hidden additional expenses in regards
to the adoption.
For example, processing
the adoption paperwork. Find out as much as you can about the
language and culture of your adopted child because this can really
assist in the transition here. Whether you do an International or
Domestic adoption do be aware that bonding with the child
particularly an older child can take some time and lots of
patience.
Watching and facilitating
the growth of the child can be incredibility rewarding but it can
also be frustrating as well. For those of you facing language
barriers remember that gesturing, facial expressions can assist in
communication will help with the transition process. Everyone
should be conscious about their verbal and non verbal signals that
they send their adopted kids and you may want to find out about
adopted play groups or support groups in your area.
This can be a really
great resource for parents and a wonderful place for kids to play
with other kids that are like them. Adoption requires persistence,
patience, and consistency. There really may be some acceptance
issues that come from society as well.
Be prepared for the fact
that your adopted child may want to learn who and where they came
from and this is just a normal part of their self discovery
journey. Adoption is the one special option on your infertility
journey where you have a really good chance of becoming a parent. I
wish you lots of good luck on your adoption journey. Thanks very
much.
